it snowed. ok-- so the stuff is pretty... especially with the sun making everything brighter.
wish my outlook was as bright. oh sure-- i have faith in my heart. i smile. i chuckle. i find good in things. christmas movies touch my heart. the family is healthy. the core... deep down basic needs are there. so why so.... well.... glum inside?
i know the answers.... and frankly, they aren't anything more than what others are suffering from, too. but, i'm having my own pity party.... because i can.
from the looks in peoples eyes, no one is supposed to know what's really happening inside. appearance is everything ya know.
i can't live that way. i can't pretend everything is just hunky dory. if you looked into my eyes and saw what's really there, you'd see shame, embarrassment, guilt. think again if you believe i'm gonna deny it and pretend life's a vacation of joy. life has kicked me (us) hard..... not hard enough to break me (us) tho... this counts.
what kills me most is the attitude. the damnation. the assumptions. have people really forgotten that not everything you assume is what it is? people are harsh in their judgements. we're a spoiled group of humans yet we'll go to the mat to make it seem otherwise. i have no room for those types of people, yet they surround me. i can remove them from my immediate area but they still cause me grief as they come and go from my safe walls.
bring on the christmas movies and the library books...... i'm chosing to barricade myself from this crap for as long as it takes.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
monday 11/24/2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
friday, 11/21/2008
To realize the value of a sister Ask someone who doesn't have one.
To realize the value of ten years Ask a newly Divorced couple.
To realize the value of four years Ask a graduate.
To realize the value of one year Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of nine months Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
To realize the value of one month Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one minute Ask a person who missed a train, bus, or plane.
To realize the value of one second Ask a person who has survived an accident.
Time waits for no one Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when You can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend Or a family member - lose one .
The origin of this letter is unknown but it is supposed to bring good luck
To everyone who passes it on.
Do not keep this letter.
Peace, love, and prosperity to all!
Hold on tight to the ones you love!
i'm holding!! i'm asking!! i'm treasuring!!
go buckeyes.... beat michigan!!
and, happy thanksgiving, everyone.
To realize the value of ten years Ask a newly Divorced couple.
To realize the value of four years Ask a graduate.
To realize the value of one year Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of nine months Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
To realize the value of one month Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one minute Ask a person who missed a train, bus, or plane.
To realize the value of one second Ask a person who has survived an accident.
Time waits for no one Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when You can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend Or a family member - lose one .
The origin of this letter is unknown but it is supposed to bring good luck
To everyone who passes it on.
Do not keep this letter.
Peace, love, and prosperity to all!
Hold on tight to the ones you love!
i'm holding!! i'm asking!! i'm treasuring!!
go buckeyes.... beat michigan!!
and, happy thanksgiving, everyone.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
tuesday, 11/11/08
a bump in the road.
i'm back at full-time caregiving. mom took a fall. surgery for a hip replacement was last friday and all went well. she's home now as she wanted nothing to do with a rehab facility. this is ok because i can be here-- and we'll get home healthcare again. but gone are the days where i could leave for a couple hours at a time without worry.
today beings the flurry of people coming in and out of the house.... we begin with the nurse... then the social worker, the OT and of course, the PT. nothing new with the process so guess that's good.
it's safe to say i was hoping to stay outta this game for awhile longer. the freedom of coming and going only 4 times a day was pretty sweet.
oh well.
i'm back at full-time caregiving. mom took a fall. surgery for a hip replacement was last friday and all went well. she's home now as she wanted nothing to do with a rehab facility. this is ok because i can be here-- and we'll get home healthcare again. but gone are the days where i could leave for a couple hours at a time without worry.
today beings the flurry of people coming in and out of the house.... we begin with the nurse... then the social worker, the OT and of course, the PT. nothing new with the process so guess that's good.
it's safe to say i was hoping to stay outta this game for awhile longer. the freedom of coming and going only 4 times a day was pretty sweet.
oh well.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
vid worth watching
received this in an email.... sometimes i don't open this stuff cuz it's not worth the time. i'm glad i opened this one. fair warning, it'll tug at cha.
dad was a navy vet. he served as a pilot on one of the carriers in WW2. he always gave a knowing nod to other people he noticed either served or was serving in our military. i picked up that habit without realizing it until now..... if i pass a soldier in uniform and the situation presents itself, i'll try to catch their eye and say thank you.
back when desert storm was happening, my brother was serving-- as an air force pilot. for the longest time we weren't allowed to know where he was or what he was doing. i'll never forget the day mom got the call that he was coming home. even via the telephone, i could tell it was the first day in way too many that mom became herself again.
when mom called, it took no more than an hour for her to arrange getting us flights to go meet him. of course actually meeting him would take a couple of days as they had to get home from the other end of the world, but for heavens sake, those plans were made in an hour! i don't remember why dad didn't make the trip with us..... but i remember the flight we took was some red eye and i was very pregnant with my youngest son.... mom and i travelled with my two oldest children who were 3 at the time! i laugh when i recall getting them on their first flight and buckled in. they had no idea what was going on and they were sooo tired! god was with us that night as there was no screaming or tantrums..... the flight went with ease as did the cab ride to the hotel. my we musta been a sight to behold-- a pregnant lady with two 3 year olds and their gramma trasping around an airport at 2am! if people saw this today they'd probably think we were hiding from the law!
when we got to the base to welcome our troops home the next day, families were everywhere and it was quite the experience... pictures in the video you'll see made me remember this in vivid detail. people every-freaking-where! i'll never forget when the first planes were spotted..... they did a sorta fly-by thing and tipped their wing saying hello to those waiting on the ground. i've got goosebumps remembering this now...
when my brother got off the plane-- course he was the last one off being the pilot.... jeez, the waiting! ... the twins were jumping up and down "uncle dot, uncle dot!" and my pregnant body attempting to chase after them so their tiny bodies wouldn't get lost among the masses. tears.... oh my gawd, the tears from my mother's face.
bear with me-- i'm wiping tears right now.
ok... so i'm reliving that. i'm also reliving dad's funeral... there are a couple of pictures in the video that adequately show how i felt the day we buried him. how quickly that pain comes back with pictures. presenting the flag, the military personnel assigned to work the service, the feeling of honor and horrid sadness when taps played on that horn.
not kidding when i said the video will tug at you.... it did me, for my own reasons, you see. the person who created this video is a young lady all of 15 years old. for a brief 5 minutes, i had faith in our nations future while reliving some stunning memories of my own past.
http://www.youtube.com/v/ervaMPt4Ha0&autoplay=1
dad was a navy vet. he served as a pilot on one of the carriers in WW2. he always gave a knowing nod to other people he noticed either served or was serving in our military. i picked up that habit without realizing it until now..... if i pass a soldier in uniform and the situation presents itself, i'll try to catch their eye and say thank you.
back when desert storm was happening, my brother was serving-- as an air force pilot. for the longest time we weren't allowed to know where he was or what he was doing. i'll never forget the day mom got the call that he was coming home. even via the telephone, i could tell it was the first day in way too many that mom became herself again.
when mom called, it took no more than an hour for her to arrange getting us flights to go meet him. of course actually meeting him would take a couple of days as they had to get home from the other end of the world, but for heavens sake, those plans were made in an hour! i don't remember why dad didn't make the trip with us..... but i remember the flight we took was some red eye and i was very pregnant with my youngest son.... mom and i travelled with my two oldest children who were 3 at the time! i laugh when i recall getting them on their first flight and buckled in. they had no idea what was going on and they were sooo tired! god was with us that night as there was no screaming or tantrums..... the flight went with ease as did the cab ride to the hotel. my we musta been a sight to behold-- a pregnant lady with two 3 year olds and their gramma trasping around an airport at 2am! if people saw this today they'd probably think we were hiding from the law!
when we got to the base to welcome our troops home the next day, families were everywhere and it was quite the experience... pictures in the video you'll see made me remember this in vivid detail. people every-freaking-where! i'll never forget when the first planes were spotted..... they did a sorta fly-by thing and tipped their wing saying hello to those waiting on the ground. i've got goosebumps remembering this now...
when my brother got off the plane-- course he was the last one off being the pilot.... jeez, the waiting! ... the twins were jumping up and down "uncle dot, uncle dot!" and my pregnant body attempting to chase after them so their tiny bodies wouldn't get lost among the masses. tears.... oh my gawd, the tears from my mother's face.
bear with me-- i'm wiping tears right now.
ok... so i'm reliving that. i'm also reliving dad's funeral... there are a couple of pictures in the video that adequately show how i felt the day we buried him. how quickly that pain comes back with pictures. presenting the flag, the military personnel assigned to work the service, the feeling of honor and horrid sadness when taps played on that horn.
not kidding when i said the video will tug at you.... it did me, for my own reasons, you see. the person who created this video is a young lady all of 15 years old. for a brief 5 minutes, i had faith in our nations future while reliving some stunning memories of my own past.
http://www.youtube.com/v/ervaMPt4Ha0&autoplay=1
Sunday, October 12, 2008
twintuition!
when i opened up my email this morning, this was waiting for me.... the twins somehow found each other while trolling around the city after the OSU game!
it's been interesting.... this bumping into each other stuff.... their smiles tell a good story.
Friday, September 26, 2008
3 in one year...
dad had two best friends from the very beginning of their schooling.... they were gale and jerry. not only were they friends, they were also in business together. their friendship lasted 72 years.... their business relationship lasted over 50 years by my best guess. gale passed last july-- he was 80. course dad passed in march-- he was 80. jerry passed this past saturday-- he was 80.
i keep thinking this is the last of a seriously big thing. that sort of relationship doesn't exist in my generation (that i'm aquainted with anyway). i am blessed to have known each of them, watched how they (and as equally amazing... their respective spouses and children) related and succumbed to the pleasure of knowing these 3 had all the right stuff.
certainly the 3 of them are holding court in heaven already.... i've felt the earth's axis tilting a bit all week. i'd like to think it's those 3 tried and true friends raising some cane. have at it, you 3.
a short while ago i had the pleasure of reading "the shack." timing of that read couldn't be more perfect. while the book helped me in ways too numerous to write, i can whole-heartedly say it left me knowing better of some things i once couldn't grasp. this book is a gift for anyone who reads it. no matter where you are in life or what circumstances have hit you, "the shack" has something for you to embrace.
http://theshackbook.com/index.html
ok, i'm done for now. enjoy your days!!
i keep thinking this is the last of a seriously big thing. that sort of relationship doesn't exist in my generation (that i'm aquainted with anyway). i am blessed to have known each of them, watched how they (and as equally amazing... their respective spouses and children) related and succumbed to the pleasure of knowing these 3 had all the right stuff.
certainly the 3 of them are holding court in heaven already.... i've felt the earth's axis tilting a bit all week. i'd like to think it's those 3 tried and true friends raising some cane. have at it, you 3.
a short while ago i had the pleasure of reading "the shack." timing of that read couldn't be more perfect. while the book helped me in ways too numerous to write, i can whole-heartedly say it left me knowing better of some things i once couldn't grasp. this book is a gift for anyone who reads it. no matter where you are in life or what circumstances have hit you, "the shack" has something for you to embrace.
http://theshackbook.com/index.html
ok, i'm done for now. enjoy your days!!
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