tuesday, 2/5/08

youngest son called needing to come home from school. he's got a flu or something-- gotta nice fever going. he'll be alright... into bed he went.

mom had a call from one of our church friends. she and i were talking about this recently. we were wondering how long it would take for someone to realize we weren't attending anymore. 50 days-- but, who's counting?!! i wasn't really.... had to go count 'em on the calendar for this post.... but i knew it was well beyond past due that someone from church missed dad. makes me sad as mom/dad have attended that church the last 48 years... you'd think someone would have called to say "hey, where are ya?!"

as i sat next to mom during this phonecall, she did everything in her power to let this guy know dad isn't receiving visitors anymore-- nor is he getting out anymore. when she hung up the phone, i asked her for her best guess as to when my cell phone would ring. she said a 1/2 hour. it was 3 minutes. i picked up the phone, yup...

i looked at mom... sitting there looking as if she was ready to commit murder, and i smiled. we go thru this a lot. mom takes a call, explains stuff, then the caller calls me to see if she's telling 'em the truth. now i know mom is a bit salty. but she's never discouraged anyone from seeing dad-- ever. this is new and it's.... well, what is. and, because i heard the conversation, i know she was very polite and honest. there was no embellishing or anger. just facts.

sigh.

i had to do it. i didn't feel awful about it. i told the guy that i was sitting right here next to mom and had heard their conversation. why he was surprised about that, i'm unsure. he's visited dad here 3 or 4 times and knew that i'm on site all day, everyday. somehow he thought i was only here in the afternoons. hmm. have no idea where that one came from-- anyway, i again looked at mom... still has those murderous eyes... got up, hugged her, all the while telling him the same stuff mom said. he tried to "help me remember" that dad was well enough for a "nice conversation" a couple of months ago. uh humm. yeahhhh. uh huh. yes, sir, that's true. things have changed a bit.

i wanted so badly to say.....do you see what this disease is all about? did you look into it just a little bit when you heard this is what dad's suffering with so you could understand what's happening to your friend? i didn't say any of that. but as if he was reading my thoughts, he proudly told me about pills he's heard about that are doing wonders for the disease. uh humm. yeahhh. uh huh. yes, sir, that's true. there are some good pills available.

silence. i get the impression he thinks we're withholding adequate medical attention for dad. not doing "enough." these pills-- these wonderful pills.....

all this is running thru my mind as the silence continues. there's so much to say-- yet there's nothing else to say.

tears came to him as he choked thru the good-bye part of our conversation-- ok, then i felt bad. but... once off the phone, feeling like a poopy-head for telling him i was sitting next to mom, then having to deal with mom who was so hurt that people call me right after they call her as if she's not telling them the truth... well.... yeah, that was fun.

went back to check on dad before i took mom to her office.... whoa! whatta mess. dad was sound asleep so i let him sleep, took mom to work, came home and woke up the mess maker. chocolate shakes do wonders for him... gave him some fish and his shake then proceeded to get him in the shower and get everything in the wash.

"what is that mess?"
"ohh dad.... i've just gotta do some cleaning while you eat. talk to me while i do this!"
"where did that come from?"
"hey dad, did you see the rain outside? it's really pouring.. can you see it?"

hug. wrap him up. kiss his head.

"well. thank you very much! that was great."

yeah for me, too, dad. definitely. i'll do this all day long, just stay with me as long as you're able....
he's sleeping. he's clean. he's happy. the washer's going.

next!!

sunday, 2/3/08

the bucket list..... jack nickolson & morgan freeman

a movie i very much enjoyed! couldn't help but be sad that dad never got the chance to go thru his bucket list.... god willing, i will for him.