although temps were supposed to reach the high 90's, we're thanking some clouds for preventing that nasty bad heat.... dad got to enjoy reading his paper and magazines outside almost all day! he had an ok "head" day... and not too tired today either. wahoo!
i'm thinking of everything completed today and feel pretty confident... the last thing i want to do is leave something undone or unfinished for brother-- who's stepping in, by the way, for the next 4 days so hubby and i can reconnect with a short getaway-- and do a lil birthday celebrating, too. while i've completed a day by day, commitment by commitment agenda for bro, and did all the shopping, the cleaning, the laundry, the meds, the beds, appointment scheduling, etc. i worry... but i'm seriously trying to stop that.
i've read too much recently about when caregivers go on respite. bad move!!! so, to regroup, i haven't stopped in on the forum i belong to on purpose... needed to step away to get organized and my head on straight. you know how things end up right in your face sometimes... well, that's how i was feeling. i knew this time away was coming yet all i "saw" were posts about if it's really worth it and it was freaking me out!!
found that i definitely made the right decision to step back-- cuz this i know now:
my marriage is worth getting away...
my husband is worth it...
i'm worth it...
i know there will be aftermath...
i also know bro will do the absolute best he can-- as will 'rents...
so let the pieces fall when they may...
we will all be F-I-N-E...
why? cuz we have F-A-I-T-H
ttyl-- next tuesday to be more specific.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
wednesday, 9/5/2007
writing early this morning cuz some things are on my mind-- not necessarily related to anything, just stuff.
the first thing on my mind is the number 34. for just over a year now when i look at a digital clock it's a time like 2:34pm, 9:34am... or 7:34am. you get the idea. my honorary son #3 in valpo always wore the number 34 on his ball jersey. my daughter's AIM has the number in it..... this number simply surrounds me-- truthfully, it's been a part of my life a bit longer than earlier mentioned, it wasn't quite in my face as it is now tho. i find this fascinating!
the reason i've been revisiting the number now is because it seems to have found me yet one more time.... mom has 34 staples in her arm from surgery. yes, i took the time to count them-- thinking it would be bragging rights for mom if a story ever gets told.
another thing on my mind is way off skew... which is why it's something i'm chosing to put out there!! :) because my days consist of now walking two doggies- i find myself taking a lot of walks. it dawned on me yesterday that a pups toilet is quite vast and, downright exhausting! there will be no complaints as to the size of both yards as we are blessed with some acreage... yet, it bothers me that actual acreage is a toilet! why can't it be a bowl that's in the same place each time?! naturally our good 4-legged friends from around the hood also find their toilet in the same acreage on occassion, making it that much more to sniff and smell and decide that it's a good enough spot or noo way they're gonna use that spot anymore!
ya walk here, no. ya walk there, no. ohhh yes, a good spot! partial squat. noo, not quite right- must keep moving. over and over. all i can think about is thank goodness i have only one place that's right and there's no other decisions or distractions. when the time is right, i gotta go and know just where to go. how do dogs have the ability to hold it so long they can wait-- and walk-- and sniff-- to find just the right spot... somewhere.... ???!!
my last note here does relate to a former post and is important for me to share. earlier this week i prayed and asked for a billboard or a sign from god-- anything to let me know he's here with us.
message received!! at 4:30am (hey-- maybe it was 4:34am!! i couldn't read the clock too well at the time), our hall light turned on. it woke me immediately. i opened my eyes and didn't move- just turned my head so i could tell what had happened. it didn't scare me that hubby, pups and i were the only ones home that night-- and both were sound asleep on their respective sides of me. i stayed right where i was and thanked god for letting me know he was with us-- i wasn't about to shut that light out of my life by turning it off! hubby woke up about 10 minutes later, saw the light and got up to turn it off. no words exchanged-- we went back to our slumbers.
there's a book i read awhile ago- it's pretty old... one from here at mom and dad's from guideposts. it's called "his mysterious ways." it's got all kinds of good stories like the one above in it. for anyone leary or unsure- check it out cuz it's pretty kewl.
for you critics out there-- it's ok. i find stuff unbelieveable, too. there are other things that happen in our home from time to time that i believe are completely unrelated to what happened this week. stuff like footsteps hubby and youngest son only hear, candles blown out that wind could no way do it's job, the pups barking his lungs out at the top of the stairs at something downstairs-- investigating and finding nothing going on and no one down there, and... the weirdest one-- a california king-sized box spring mattress moving four feet to block a doorway. yeah- now those things are freaky to me!! and please don't ask oldest daughter to relive the dog barking at the stairs-- she was the one home alone with the pups at the time. i'll never forget that phone call!
hope today's a great one for all! ohh- thy will be done. amen.
the first thing on my mind is the number 34. for just over a year now when i look at a digital clock it's a time like 2:34pm, 9:34am... or 7:34am. you get the idea. my honorary son #3 in valpo always wore the number 34 on his ball jersey. my daughter's AIM has the number in it..... this number simply surrounds me-- truthfully, it's been a part of my life a bit longer than earlier mentioned, it wasn't quite in my face as it is now tho. i find this fascinating!
the reason i've been revisiting the number now is because it seems to have found me yet one more time.... mom has 34 staples in her arm from surgery. yes, i took the time to count them-- thinking it would be bragging rights for mom if a story ever gets told.
another thing on my mind is way off skew... which is why it's something i'm chosing to put out there!! :) because my days consist of now walking two doggies- i find myself taking a lot of walks. it dawned on me yesterday that a pups toilet is quite vast and, downright exhausting! there will be no complaints as to the size of both yards as we are blessed with some acreage... yet, it bothers me that actual acreage is a toilet! why can't it be a bowl that's in the same place each time?! naturally our good 4-legged friends from around the hood also find their toilet in the same acreage on occassion, making it that much more to sniff and smell and decide that it's a good enough spot or noo way they're gonna use that spot anymore!
ya walk here, no. ya walk there, no. ohhh yes, a good spot! partial squat. noo, not quite right- must keep moving. over and over. all i can think about is thank goodness i have only one place that's right and there's no other decisions or distractions. when the time is right, i gotta go and know just where to go. how do dogs have the ability to hold it so long they can wait-- and walk-- and sniff-- to find just the right spot... somewhere.... ???!!
my last note here does relate to a former post and is important for me to share. earlier this week i prayed and asked for a billboard or a sign from god-- anything to let me know he's here with us.
message received!! at 4:30am (hey-- maybe it was 4:34am!! i couldn't read the clock too well at the time), our hall light turned on. it woke me immediately. i opened my eyes and didn't move- just turned my head so i could tell what had happened. it didn't scare me that hubby, pups and i were the only ones home that night-- and both were sound asleep on their respective sides of me. i stayed right where i was and thanked god for letting me know he was with us-- i wasn't about to shut that light out of my life by turning it off! hubby woke up about 10 minutes later, saw the light and got up to turn it off. no words exchanged-- we went back to our slumbers.
there's a book i read awhile ago- it's pretty old... one from here at mom and dad's from guideposts. it's called "his mysterious ways." it's got all kinds of good stories like the one above in it. for anyone leary or unsure- check it out cuz it's pretty kewl.
for you critics out there-- it's ok. i find stuff unbelieveable, too. there are other things that happen in our home from time to time that i believe are completely unrelated to what happened this week. stuff like footsteps hubby and youngest son only hear, candles blown out that wind could no way do it's job, the pups barking his lungs out at the top of the stairs at something downstairs-- investigating and finding nothing going on and no one down there, and... the weirdest one-- a california king-sized box spring mattress moving four feet to block a doorway. yeah- now those things are freaky to me!! and please don't ask oldest daughter to relive the dog barking at the stairs-- she was the one home alone with the pups at the time. i'll never forget that phone call!
hope today's a great one for all! ohh- thy will be done. amen.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
tuesday, september 4, 2007
dad was able to hear mom call for help last night-- he rescued her from a potential poopy mess, overnight, part two-- she refused to call me. greaaaat. but, THANKS, DAD! he was confused as to what he did to help. all i needed to say was that mom was happy... he relaxed immediately.
the potty arrived, the potty arrived! wow- is this what it's come to? mom's bedside potty arrived from home healthcare today and i can't wait to see how it works. i've rigged it into the most safe position possible-- taking in all wobbly leg and broken wing scenarios i could come up with by my own trial and error. because i've forbidden mom to move from her room at night- the overnights were our first start..... but it appears she's one lean mean peeing machine so going along with the gentle prodding of mom's OT, the potty arrived, the potty arrived! i'll say a quick prayer when i leave tonight. i'm not sold on her getting off her bed at all during the night, but who am i to stand in the way of one little freedom when i've done all i can to assure she'll not fall again. stay tuned.
it has been a full day- and overall a successful one... sure wish dad wasn't so quiet and tired. he perked up a bit when we talked about NYC. we got the map out and he came up with all kinds of things he's done there or places he visited. yup- no problem with the 40+ years ago stuff. ask him what my husbands name is-- or what the guys sitting on the tractors are doing outside....
GRRRRRR.
the potty arrived, the potty arrived! wow- is this what it's come to? mom's bedside potty arrived from home healthcare today and i can't wait to see how it works. i've rigged it into the most safe position possible-- taking in all wobbly leg and broken wing scenarios i could come up with by my own trial and error. because i've forbidden mom to move from her room at night- the overnights were our first start..... but it appears she's one lean mean peeing machine so going along with the gentle prodding of mom's OT, the potty arrived, the potty arrived! i'll say a quick prayer when i leave tonight. i'm not sold on her getting off her bed at all during the night, but who am i to stand in the way of one little freedom when i've done all i can to assure she'll not fall again. stay tuned.
it has been a full day- and overall a successful one... sure wish dad wasn't so quiet and tired. he perked up a bit when we talked about NYC. we got the map out and he came up with all kinds of things he's done there or places he visited. yup- no problem with the 40+ years ago stuff. ask him what my husbands name is-- or what the guys sitting on the tractors are doing outside....
GRRRRRR.
Monday, September 3, 2007
labor day!
indeed it is.... labor day. (and, happy birthday to those who know they're now one year older!)
mom's a one-armed, wobbly legged, poopy mess. now there's a visual for ya on this family holiday! :)
dad has been in and out all day-- once again, smiling but moving to his own groove.
who invented this labor day holiday thing? any chance for a do-over?!
hope everyone's enjoying themselves.... be safe, have fun, smiles!!
oh-- and tomorrow, make sure you get to work/school on time... heehee... i'll be here if ya need me.... unless today's theme continues, then you're on your own.
mom's a one-armed, wobbly legged, poopy mess. now there's a visual for ya on this family holiday! :)
dad has been in and out all day-- once again, smiling but moving to his own groove.
who invented this labor day holiday thing? any chance for a do-over?!
hope everyone's enjoying themselves.... be safe, have fun, smiles!!
oh-- and tomorrow, make sure you get to work/school on time... heehee... i'll be here if ya need me.... unless today's theme continues, then you're on your own.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
sunday, september 2, 2007
mr. sleepyhead awoke early and immediately went back to bed.... i had to wake him to get ready for church. once determined he still wanted to go, the game of what to wear commenced. he had already changed before he laid down-- while it was a grand effort... he hadn't quite gotten the job done.
noticed dad following the service ok but reading some of the congregation readings has become difficult. same with reading the hymns. within no time i sunk into a sadness and couldn't tell you what the sermon was about.
dad's becoming more quiet. by that i mean less talkative. he's never been one to love to hear himself talk, but the change to me is evident. these changes with mom are causes more changes with dad.
things swimming in my head...
am i being selfish for keeping him at home? should we bite the bullet and move him to the alz facility where he can socialize more? i can't! they already said he qualified for the memory floor-- he deserves better than that floor right now. if he could go down to the other floors during the day, that makes more sense for him. he should be here until i really can't handle things anymore. i still can't stand the thought of adult daycare. no! this is his home and the place he loves! but, is that fair to him.... now, with me having to care for mom so much?
heavenly father, guide me in the right direction. show me! tell me! put up a billboard! push me! pull me! let me hear a song! anything..... just please let me know your wishes for us. it's in your hands and i know it's in your time, but if i may beg.... just something along the way to let me know when to do what with who.
brother swung by after his church so i had a bit of a break this afternoon... i arrived back at dinner time-- had all the regular tasks to catch up on, not to mention the new stuff with mom's arm... so will stay until i need to help mom get into bed instead of running home for an hour. dad started watching 60 minutes after sitting outside most of the evening but... took in about 15 minutes of the show and felt he was ready to turn in.
noticed dad following the service ok but reading some of the congregation readings has become difficult. same with reading the hymns. within no time i sunk into a sadness and couldn't tell you what the sermon was about.
dad's becoming more quiet. by that i mean less talkative. he's never been one to love to hear himself talk, but the change to me is evident. these changes with mom are causes more changes with dad.
things swimming in my head...
am i being selfish for keeping him at home? should we bite the bullet and move him to the alz facility where he can socialize more? i can't! they already said he qualified for the memory floor-- he deserves better than that floor right now. if he could go down to the other floors during the day, that makes more sense for him. he should be here until i really can't handle things anymore. i still can't stand the thought of adult daycare. no! this is his home and the place he loves! but, is that fair to him.... now, with me having to care for mom so much?
heavenly father, guide me in the right direction. show me! tell me! put up a billboard! push me! pull me! let me hear a song! anything..... just please let me know your wishes for us. it's in your hands and i know it's in your time, but if i may beg.... just something along the way to let me know when to do what with who.
brother swung by after his church so i had a bit of a break this afternoon... i arrived back at dinner time-- had all the regular tasks to catch up on, not to mention the new stuff with mom's arm... so will stay until i need to help mom get into bed instead of running home for an hour. dad started watching 60 minutes after sitting outside most of the evening but... took in about 15 minutes of the show and felt he was ready to turn in.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
