sunday, september 2, 2007

mr. sleepyhead awoke early and immediately went back to bed.... i had to wake him to get ready for church. once determined he still wanted to go, the game of what to wear commenced. he had already changed before he laid down-- while it was a grand effort... he hadn't quite gotten the job done.

noticed dad following the service ok but reading some of the congregation readings has become difficult. same with reading the hymns. within no time i sunk into a sadness and couldn't tell you what the sermon was about.

dad's becoming more quiet. by that i mean less talkative. he's never been one to love to hear himself talk, but the change to me is evident. these changes with mom are causes more changes with dad.

things swimming in my head...
am i being selfish for keeping him at home? should we bite the bullet and move him to the alz facility where he can socialize more? i can't! they already said he qualified for the memory floor-- he deserves better than that floor right now. if he could go down to the other floors during the day, that makes more sense for him. he should be here until i really can't handle things anymore. i still can't stand the thought of adult daycare. no! this is his home and the place he loves! but, is that fair to him.... now, with me having to care for mom so much?

heavenly father, guide me in the right direction. show me! tell me! put up a billboard! push me! pull me! let me hear a song! anything..... just please let me know your wishes for us. it's in your hands and i know it's in your time, but if i may beg.... just something along the way to let me know when to do what with who.

brother swung by after his church so i had a bit of a break this afternoon... i arrived back at dinner time-- had all the regular tasks to catch up on, not to mention the new stuff with mom's arm... so will stay until i need to help mom get into bed instead of running home for an hour. dad started watching 60 minutes after sitting outside most of the evening but... took in about 15 minutes of the show and felt he was ready to turn in.