my daughter sent me this blog link...... it's awesome! the words to explain what we have/had to do with alzheimers patients is so clear-- clearer than i could ever explain. what struck me the most is the fact that i could do those things so simply with dad. i just couldn't explain what i was doing to those in the "normal" world.
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/04/talking-alzheimers/
hubby's work holiday party was last night. we went to the local comedy club. the company was forced to let 2 staffers go the day before... and it was something we worried about.... how to deal with that among the faces of those who survived the cutbacks. as it turned out, one of those staffers joined the party and taught us a good lesson..... there's life after tragic events. i really like earl...... he's a rockstar. the laughter and smiles he gave us last night was a honest to god gift from heaven for me.... i pray he'll be alright-- but i know in my heart he will be.
thru all lifes trials, yes virginia, there is a santa claus. i'm gonna clean my chimney today.... there's nothing if not hope.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
sunday, 12/7/08
it snowed. ok-- so the stuff is pretty... especially with the sun making everything brighter.
wish my outlook was as bright. oh sure-- i have faith in my heart. i smile. i chuckle. i find good in things. christmas movies touch my heart. the family is healthy. the core... deep down basic needs are there. so why so.... well.... glum inside?
i know the answers.... and frankly, they aren't anything more than what others are suffering from, too. but, i'm having my own pity party.... because i can.
from the looks in peoples eyes, no one is supposed to know what's really happening inside. appearance is everything ya know.
i can't live that way. i can't pretend everything is just hunky dory. if you looked into my eyes and saw what's really there, you'd see shame, embarrassment, guilt. think again if you believe i'm gonna deny it and pretend life's a vacation of joy. life has kicked me (us) hard..... not hard enough to break me (us) tho... this counts.
what kills me most is the attitude. the damnation. the assumptions. have people really forgotten that not everything you assume is what it is? people are harsh in their judgements. we're a spoiled group of humans yet we'll go to the mat to make it seem otherwise. i have no room for those types of people, yet they surround me. i can remove them from my immediate area but they still cause me grief as they come and go from my safe walls.
bring on the christmas movies and the library books...... i'm chosing to barricade myself from this crap for as long as it takes.
wish my outlook was as bright. oh sure-- i have faith in my heart. i smile. i chuckle. i find good in things. christmas movies touch my heart. the family is healthy. the core... deep down basic needs are there. so why so.... well.... glum inside?
i know the answers.... and frankly, they aren't anything more than what others are suffering from, too. but, i'm having my own pity party.... because i can.
from the looks in peoples eyes, no one is supposed to know what's really happening inside. appearance is everything ya know.
i can't live that way. i can't pretend everything is just hunky dory. if you looked into my eyes and saw what's really there, you'd see shame, embarrassment, guilt. think again if you believe i'm gonna deny it and pretend life's a vacation of joy. life has kicked me (us) hard..... not hard enough to break me (us) tho... this counts.
what kills me most is the attitude. the damnation. the assumptions. have people really forgotten that not everything you assume is what it is? people are harsh in their judgements. we're a spoiled group of humans yet we'll go to the mat to make it seem otherwise. i have no room for those types of people, yet they surround me. i can remove them from my immediate area but they still cause me grief as they come and go from my safe walls.
bring on the christmas movies and the library books...... i'm chosing to barricade myself from this crap for as long as it takes.
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