it snowed. ok-- so the stuff is pretty... especially with the sun making everything brighter.
wish my outlook was as bright. oh sure-- i have faith in my heart. i smile. i chuckle. i find good in things. christmas movies touch my heart. the family is healthy. the core... deep down basic needs are there. so why so.... well.... glum inside?
i know the answers.... and frankly, they aren't anything more than what others are suffering from, too. but, i'm having my own pity party.... because i can.
from the looks in peoples eyes, no one is supposed to know what's really happening inside. appearance is everything ya know.
i can't live that way. i can't pretend everything is just hunky dory. if you looked into my eyes and saw what's really there, you'd see shame, embarrassment, guilt. think again if you believe i'm gonna deny it and pretend life's a vacation of joy. life has kicked me (us) hard..... not hard enough to break me (us) tho... this counts.
what kills me most is the attitude. the damnation. the assumptions. have people really forgotten that not everything you assume is what it is? people are harsh in their judgements. we're a spoiled group of humans yet we'll go to the mat to make it seem otherwise. i have no room for those types of people, yet they surround me. i can remove them from my immediate area but they still cause me grief as they come and go from my safe walls.
bring on the christmas movies and the library books...... i'm chosing to barricade myself from this crap for as long as it takes.
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1 comment:
you go right ahead and have your own pity party. I have them quite often. Just be yourself and to hell with what anyone thinks! I have plenty I could say about judgmental people but I'm afraid it isn't fit to print. :)
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