we've had more snow this week although it hasn't amounted to much-- have to say it's been beautiful to watch blow around.
dad has worn his pants a few times this week-- such a strange thing to acknowedge, yet it's all good stuff, so bears mentioning. he found his way "back" for awhile! i'm learning to understand the movie "the notebook" more and more.
i ran into a friend of dad's while grocery shopping. we talked a little about the disease and shared common stories about things like this. the last thing he said to me was to tell dad he said hello. i smiled-- said i would knowing that i couldn't. after going thru the checkout line, this friends wife snuck up behind me.... she said, "i suspect you can't tell your dad you ran into us today; please put x's comment out of your head. it was well intended of course, but i know what happens." i welled up and simply hugged her. she did, too... and we each went our separate ways. an understanding.
it's difficult knowing i can't tell dad these kinds of things-- i find it cruel to have to remove nice things like this from him. his world has shrunk too soon, too fast. yet when i weigh the alternative of what happens, i'm faced with dad's reality. it's more wearing on him not recognizing the name of a friend. then it's more wearing on mom and i worrying about dad while he sleeps that depression away. thank god he has yet i'm not strong enough to keep testing those waters.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
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