dad passed away last night.
3.10.08
10:51pm
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
3/5/08
ok wow, that was a ride....
without going into everything little thing, dad's now home and in home hospice. the greatest adjustment is with thinking comfort rather than prevention. i'm not there yet.... but i'm ready to learn and make this necessary change.
deepest gratitude to those who attempted to reach me and find out what was going on. i can confidently now say we're ok-- tired but ok.
xo
without going into everything little thing, dad's now home and in home hospice. the greatest adjustment is with thinking comfort rather than prevention. i'm not there yet.... but i'm ready to learn and make this necessary change.
deepest gratitude to those who attempted to reach me and find out what was going on. i can confidently now say we're ok-- tired but ok.
xo
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
sunday 2/10/08
weather has been all over the place this week... tolerable and sunny and now the wind is gusting horribly and snow is back on the way.
oldest daughter returns from buffalo this evening-- looks like they'll be driving in some of the weather... thank goodness for text messaging for some quick updates.
dad's good friend from college swung by yesterday and dad was able to get up and sit in his chair to visit for a few. just one of those perfect timing things-- had we planned it, it wouldn't have worked out so well! he did more listening but interacted a bit so i know he enjoyed himself... course he hasn't been out of bed since, but hey--
dad had a huge bloody nose the other night-- when i first arrived it looked as if there was serious trauma... i thought perhaps a fall and head injury... thankfully i could cross those things off the list and quickly determined it was just a nose bleed. his bed, pillow, hands and shirt took the biggest hits-- nothing on the carpets or elsewhere. poor guy-- got him cleaned up and he was good to go again. mom mentioned perhaps his blood pressure spiked, but that's in a good range-- so for now, it came, it was and now it's done.
our guy who helps us with the nastier landscaping stuff came over yeterday and cleared out a lot of brush from the creek area. sure opened things up a lot-- looks great. a couple of neighbors stopped him and gave him grief as if he needed some sort of permission from them to clear out our brush.... hubby and i are scratching our heads over that one. guess they prefer everything to be hidden... i'm more inclined to believe they don't wanna clean their portion of the creek. so'k by me-- i like the greenery too, but i prefer it to be cut back when we have to get by or under it on the tractor while cutting the grass!! we take care of our house-- you take care of yours.... but yeah, i can see your kids and their buddies throw their beer bottles and trash in the creek better now.
brother visits our parents today while i take a bit of a break this afternoon. happy sunday, everyone!
oldest daughter returns from buffalo this evening-- looks like they'll be driving in some of the weather... thank goodness for text messaging for some quick updates.
dad's good friend from college swung by yesterday and dad was able to get up and sit in his chair to visit for a few. just one of those perfect timing things-- had we planned it, it wouldn't have worked out so well! he did more listening but interacted a bit so i know he enjoyed himself... course he hasn't been out of bed since, but hey--
dad had a huge bloody nose the other night-- when i first arrived it looked as if there was serious trauma... i thought perhaps a fall and head injury... thankfully i could cross those things off the list and quickly determined it was just a nose bleed. his bed, pillow, hands and shirt took the biggest hits-- nothing on the carpets or elsewhere. poor guy-- got him cleaned up and he was good to go again. mom mentioned perhaps his blood pressure spiked, but that's in a good range-- so for now, it came, it was and now it's done.
our guy who helps us with the nastier landscaping stuff came over yeterday and cleared out a lot of brush from the creek area. sure opened things up a lot-- looks great. a couple of neighbors stopped him and gave him grief as if he needed some sort of permission from them to clear out our brush.... hubby and i are scratching our heads over that one. guess they prefer everything to be hidden... i'm more inclined to believe they don't wanna clean their portion of the creek. so'k by me-- i like the greenery too, but i prefer it to be cut back when we have to get by or under it on the tractor while cutting the grass!! we take care of our house-- you take care of yours.... but yeah, i can see your kids and their buddies throw their beer bottles and trash in the creek better now.
brother visits our parents today while i take a bit of a break this afternoon. happy sunday, everyone!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
tuesday, 2/5/08
youngest son called needing to come home from school. he's got a flu or something-- gotta nice fever going. he'll be alright... into bed he went.
mom had a call from one of our church friends. she and i were talking about this recently. we were wondering how long it would take for someone to realize we weren't attending anymore. 50 days-- but, who's counting?!! i wasn't really.... had to go count 'em on the calendar for this post.... but i knew it was well beyond past due that someone from church missed dad. makes me sad as mom/dad have attended that church the last 48 years... you'd think someone would have called to say "hey, where are ya?!"
as i sat next to mom during this phonecall, she did everything in her power to let this guy know dad isn't receiving visitors anymore-- nor is he getting out anymore. when she hung up the phone, i asked her for her best guess as to when my cell phone would ring. she said a 1/2 hour. it was 3 minutes. i picked up the phone, yup...
i looked at mom... sitting there looking as if she was ready to commit murder, and i smiled. we go thru this a lot. mom takes a call, explains stuff, then the caller calls me to see if she's telling 'em the truth. now i know mom is a bit salty. but she's never discouraged anyone from seeing dad-- ever. this is new and it's.... well, what is. and, because i heard the conversation, i know she was very polite and honest. there was no embellishing or anger. just facts.
sigh.
i had to do it. i didn't feel awful about it. i told the guy that i was sitting right here next to mom and had heard their conversation. why he was surprised about that, i'm unsure. he's visited dad here 3 or 4 times and knew that i'm on site all day, everyday. somehow he thought i was only here in the afternoons. hmm. have no idea where that one came from-- anyway, i again looked at mom... still has those murderous eyes... got up, hugged her, all the while telling him the same stuff mom said. he tried to "help me remember" that dad was well enough for a "nice conversation" a couple of months ago. uh humm. yeahhhh. uh huh. yes, sir, that's true. things have changed a bit.
i wanted so badly to say.....do you see what this disease is all about? did you look into it just a little bit when you heard this is what dad's suffering with so you could understand what's happening to your friend? i didn't say any of that. but as if he was reading my thoughts, he proudly told me about pills he's heard about that are doing wonders for the disease. uh humm. yeahhh. uh huh. yes, sir, that's true. there are some good pills available.
silence. i get the impression he thinks we're withholding adequate medical attention for dad. not doing "enough." these pills-- these wonderful pills.....
all this is running thru my mind as the silence continues. there's so much to say-- yet there's nothing else to say.
tears came to him as he choked thru the good-bye part of our conversation-- ok, then i felt bad. but... once off the phone, feeling like a poopy-head for telling him i was sitting next to mom, then having to deal with mom who was so hurt that people call me right after they call her as if she's not telling them the truth... well.... yeah, that was fun.
went back to check on dad before i took mom to her office.... whoa! whatta mess. dad was sound asleep so i let him sleep, took mom to work, came home and woke up the mess maker. chocolate shakes do wonders for him... gave him some fish and his shake then proceeded to get him in the shower and get everything in the wash.
"what is that mess?"
"ohh dad.... i've just gotta do some cleaning while you eat. talk to me while i do this!"
"where did that come from?"
"hey dad, did you see the rain outside? it's really pouring.. can you see it?"
hug. wrap him up. kiss his head.
"well. thank you very much! that was great."
yeah for me, too, dad. definitely. i'll do this all day long, just stay with me as long as you're able....
he's sleeping. he's clean. he's happy. the washer's going.
next!!
mom had a call from one of our church friends. she and i were talking about this recently. we were wondering how long it would take for someone to realize we weren't attending anymore. 50 days-- but, who's counting?!! i wasn't really.... had to go count 'em on the calendar for this post.... but i knew it was well beyond past due that someone from church missed dad. makes me sad as mom/dad have attended that church the last 48 years... you'd think someone would have called to say "hey, where are ya?!"
as i sat next to mom during this phonecall, she did everything in her power to let this guy know dad isn't receiving visitors anymore-- nor is he getting out anymore. when she hung up the phone, i asked her for her best guess as to when my cell phone would ring. she said a 1/2 hour. it was 3 minutes. i picked up the phone, yup...
i looked at mom... sitting there looking as if she was ready to commit murder, and i smiled. we go thru this a lot. mom takes a call, explains stuff, then the caller calls me to see if she's telling 'em the truth. now i know mom is a bit salty. but she's never discouraged anyone from seeing dad-- ever. this is new and it's.... well, what is. and, because i heard the conversation, i know she was very polite and honest. there was no embellishing or anger. just facts.
sigh.
i had to do it. i didn't feel awful about it. i told the guy that i was sitting right here next to mom and had heard their conversation. why he was surprised about that, i'm unsure. he's visited dad here 3 or 4 times and knew that i'm on site all day, everyday. somehow he thought i was only here in the afternoons. hmm. have no idea where that one came from-- anyway, i again looked at mom... still has those murderous eyes... got up, hugged her, all the while telling him the same stuff mom said. he tried to "help me remember" that dad was well enough for a "nice conversation" a couple of months ago. uh humm. yeahhhh. uh huh. yes, sir, that's true. things have changed a bit.
i wanted so badly to say.....do you see what this disease is all about? did you look into it just a little bit when you heard this is what dad's suffering with so you could understand what's happening to your friend? i didn't say any of that. but as if he was reading my thoughts, he proudly told me about pills he's heard about that are doing wonders for the disease. uh humm. yeahhh. uh huh. yes, sir, that's true. there are some good pills available.
silence. i get the impression he thinks we're withholding adequate medical attention for dad. not doing "enough." these pills-- these wonderful pills.....
all this is running thru my mind as the silence continues. there's so much to say-- yet there's nothing else to say.
tears came to him as he choked thru the good-bye part of our conversation-- ok, then i felt bad. but... once off the phone, feeling like a poopy-head for telling him i was sitting next to mom, then having to deal with mom who was so hurt that people call me right after they call her as if she's not telling them the truth... well.... yeah, that was fun.
went back to check on dad before i took mom to her office.... whoa! whatta mess. dad was sound asleep so i let him sleep, took mom to work, came home and woke up the mess maker. chocolate shakes do wonders for him... gave him some fish and his shake then proceeded to get him in the shower and get everything in the wash.
"what is that mess?"
"ohh dad.... i've just gotta do some cleaning while you eat. talk to me while i do this!"
"where did that come from?"
"hey dad, did you see the rain outside? it's really pouring.. can you see it?"
hug. wrap him up. kiss his head.
"well. thank you very much! that was great."
yeah for me, too, dad. definitely. i'll do this all day long, just stay with me as long as you're able....
he's sleeping. he's clean. he's happy. the washer's going.
next!!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
sunday, 2/3/08
the bucket list..... jack nickolson & morgan freeman
a movie i very much enjoyed! couldn't help but be sad that dad never got the chance to go thru his bucket list.... god willing, i will for him.
a movie i very much enjoyed! couldn't help but be sad that dad never got the chance to go thru his bucket list.... god willing, i will for him.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
saturday, 2/2/08
yup- i know. promises, promises. ok, ok, i get it-- here's the blog update.
had to order a bedside potty for dad... was cleaning up a bit in the next room, turned to find dad relieving himself in his trashcan. "A" for finding a can. "A" for getting out of bed. "F" for my having a wicker trashcan in the room.
nope- this isn't one to share with mamasita-- she'd flip a goard. told her i was going to order a potty for dad, she agreed as he's back to being in bed hours/days and knows he's getting weaker.
got to the library today. mom and i had run out of books to read. murphy's law?? a friend had mailed some to me already-- i just hadn't been given the box yet. another story for another day. we're in good shape again!! THANK YOU, CIN!
mom's exercise bike had already been sold to another, so we'll try, try again. y'all heard of craigslist? i swear the kids and i live off that site. for those unaware, you can find pretty much anything you'd like on craigslist-- you can sell stuff too. it's a on-line classifieds thing-- it's free!! and it's everywhere in the US and beyond (from what i hear). we've sold stuff we wanted to get rid of and we've bought stuff we've wanted... the catch? it's probably used-- but not always... so for those who don't mind second hand things, it's awesome. i've even posted an office opening for someone on there so it's not limited to "things."
anyway, mom's doing ok-- she's been a good girl and drinking her water and taking her pills. we had a fun day today laughing about stuff. dad was up for breakfast this morning and has been down ever since. it's strange that he's resting more peacefully these past couple of days-- usually his breathing is more labored and noisey. hmm. i'll give him this tho-- he's not a messy man. there's no problem keeping him clean and/or changed. it's not perfect mind you, but we get the job done! whatta blessing.
had to order a bedside potty for dad... was cleaning up a bit in the next room, turned to find dad relieving himself in his trashcan. "A" for finding a can. "A" for getting out of bed. "F" for my having a wicker trashcan in the room.
nope- this isn't one to share with mamasita-- she'd flip a goard. told her i was going to order a potty for dad, she agreed as he's back to being in bed hours/days and knows he's getting weaker.
got to the library today. mom and i had run out of books to read. murphy's law?? a friend had mailed some to me already-- i just hadn't been given the box yet. another story for another day. we're in good shape again!! THANK YOU, CIN!
mom's exercise bike had already been sold to another, so we'll try, try again. y'all heard of craigslist? i swear the kids and i live off that site. for those unaware, you can find pretty much anything you'd like on craigslist-- you can sell stuff too. it's a on-line classifieds thing-- it's free!! and it's everywhere in the US and beyond (from what i hear). we've sold stuff we wanted to get rid of and we've bought stuff we've wanted... the catch? it's probably used-- but not always... so for those who don't mind second hand things, it's awesome. i've even posted an office opening for someone on there so it's not limited to "things."
anyway, mom's doing ok-- she's been a good girl and drinking her water and taking her pills. we had a fun day today laughing about stuff. dad was up for breakfast this morning and has been down ever since. it's strange that he's resting more peacefully these past couple of days-- usually his breathing is more labored and noisey. hmm. i'll give him this tho-- he's not a messy man. there's no problem keeping him clean and/or changed. it's not perfect mind you, but we get the job done! whatta blessing.
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