yesterday marked the one year anniversary of dad's accident-- and of the weekend spent at the hospital watching the michigan game.... and.... finding out dad had been taking aricept for the better part of 10 years.
this particular sunday, one year ago, the decision was made that i would stay home and be dad's caregiver... he would give up his car, his business, his basic freedom of life... each in due time of course, but that was indeed the outcome.
as i reflect on this past year-- there were days i felt like a hopeless failure, days where complete sadness overcame me, days i didn't know would end. it's funny that i can remember those days... in full detail... because over the past 365 days, those specific days can be counted on both hands. the rest of the time was filled with humor, contentment, honor, and a full heart. i'll bet there are many out there who, if they counted, would need more than two hands to count their really difficult, bad days.
yup-- i'm blessed. WE'RE blessed.
a thought hit me yesterday that when this whole adventure ends, i'll have to sit in front of potential employers and explain the void in my career. -- explain it!! the world out there doesn't embrace efforts like this-- they're too busy needing more, wanting more, getting more. lives surrounding careers these days are all emcompassing... you give it all to your employer-- family comes in down the line.
nuh uh!! not this chic. i see the eyes and know what's behind them... i hear the wonder in the voice... in one instant i know. just as i've seen and heard this past year-- there are those whom i've needed to remove from my life. those who believe i'm doing the right thing (because it's the politically correct thing for them to say to me), but what am i doing for me. seriously.... do i have to tell them this is for me?! if i do, then there's the answer as to why things have changed.
this past year has been a huge opportunity for my personal growth, my spiritual growth, learning who i am. ok, i can't go out with friends... can't go anywhere without planning. this is small beans. really small beans. god has put each member of my family on a path and it's a path i see very clearly. no- i can't see the future.... but this short-term past and this present-- my current. it all makes sense. this is what i wish for everyone. will this epiphany be somewhat of an anniversary for you, too? i wish you enough.
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1 comment:
great post. I truely understand everything you are saying.
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